Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Mode One VS The Mystery Method

This comes from a discussion from

Original Poster ("Marco Polo" - A big fan of the book, "God Is A Woman: Dating Disasters"):

I wanted to give you guys an idea of why I recommend both "The Mystery Method" and "God is a Woman: Dating Disasters," and was trying to figure out how. Fortunately, Ian Coburn, the author of the latter, made a very relevant blog entry yesterday about how he prefers to challenge a woman over insulting her to keep her ego in check. Here is part of it. (You can read the whole blog at Notice the similarities here, yet a key difference:

Let's take a club as a scenario. If I go to a club, I'm strictly going to dance or to get laid. I'm not looking for my next girlfriend. Clubs are loud and a high-percentage of the women are high-maintenance, needing constant ego boosts, a man who is willing to continually prove his worth, and so forth. I'm simply too lazy for all that. What are the obstacles at a club? Noise, other guys, and, of course, her friends, whomever "she" might be. Again, I'm lazy, so I want to remove as many obstacles as possible using the least amount of steps possible.

A guy meets a woman at the club. He finds out she's a model. He insults her occasionally to keep her ego in check with lines like, "You're not that pretty for a model," and, "They must do some serious airbrushing on your shots." This puts her on the defense and makes things combative. It works because she feels a strong need to prove she is worthy of all the good treatment men usually give her, so she'll come back for more, as she tries to prove the guy wrong. They're still in the club and have all the obstacles thereof but at least he's gotten through her defenses.

I meet the same woman. When I find out she's a model, I challenge her. "You're not really a model . . . you're too articulate to be a model, from what I've heard . . ." I flatter her while I challenge. She's not defensive or combative. I keep pushing. She's a model; she can't be too far from a portfolio or photos of herself. They may be in her home, hotel room, or car. THAT'S where I want to be. If I keep challenging, while mixing in flirting and witty banter, she'll prove she's a model by taking me to the lair of her portfolio. Hell, she may just have a few photos in her purse. When she takes them out and hands them to me, I comment, "It's too dark in here," and turn to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm taking these outside, where there's some light, so I can see them."

She'll follow, not wanting to lose her pictures. There's no time to tell her friends where she's going. Once outside, guess what? No noise, no other guys, not one of her friends. And we're looking at sexy pictures of her. I keep challenging. "Do you have any of you in bikinis? Are you wearing this bra right now?" You get the drift. Wherever I wind up with her, we're alone. She's no idiot, she's knows the game I'm playing; she's been playing it, too. She'll throw me signs about how far she wants it to progress. I've had women take me back to their place and make me wait in the lobby, while they run up to get some of their artwork or photo shoots, to bring back and show me. I've had others bring me right up into their place. Which ones want things to go further? If you can't figure that out, there's no help for you. Challenging removes the obstacles, which is why I prefer it.

Okay, that works for models only, Ian. Use your imagination. Near beaches, I've challenged women to races along the sand. In ski resorts, I've challenged women to contests to see who can make the best snow angel. Again, they know what I'm doing. I'm getting them alone. Women aren't stupid, they're way ahead of us most of the time. They just need an excuse to be unaccountable for what might occur and I'm giving it to them. "He wouldn't give me my pictures back until I gave him a kiss. He was such a good kisser, one thing led to another . . ." In truth, I'm playing more into their hands than they are into mine.

Try challenging. Like anything else, it takes practice to get the hang of it. What do you have to lose? If it doesn't work, you can always fall back on insulting her. No harm, no foul.

That's the end of the blog. See? Both talk about the same obstacles but have different ways of getting around them. Mystery talks about how women want "plausible deniability." Ian calls it "unaccountability." Every guy should have a copy of each of these books. These guys are good. (BTW, in his book, in recalls the time he got two models to put on a private lingerie show for him using the challenge approach.)

My Response:

If those techniques work, then I won't criticize them.

But in my experience, both techniques take way too much effort, and are way too deceptive and/or manipulative.

My approach (The "Mode One" approach) is all about highly self-assured, upfront, unapologetic, straightforward honesty. No manipulative head games, no NLP gimmicks, no psychological "tricks."

My 'formula' is simply this: An exceptionally high degree of confidence + straightforward honesty + no fear of rejection and/or criticism = one hell of a psychological 'aphrodisiac' with women.


Man (approaching model at nightclub): "So ... should we share each others company next Friday or next Saturday ...."

Female model: "Excuse me??"

Man w/ Mode One approach: "You're excused. (pause) So. Which day works best for you? Next Friday or next Saturday? Or would you suggest another weekend in the next 2 to 4 weeks?"

Model (Response "A" - Rejection): "I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested."

[Comment: You do not 'beg' for this woman's attention and/or companionship. You simply leave her alone. If a woman is not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you, the worse thing you can do is "beg" for her attention. If you do, you're basically asking to be used and manipulated]

Model (Response "B" - Resistance): "You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?? What makes you think I would be interested in sharing your company in the near future ... when I don't even KNOW you??"

Man (slightly cocky smirk on his face): "Well ... we'll just have to get together in a week or two so that you can find out what makes me so interesting and dynamic. (pause) So ... why don't you write down your phone number or Email address, and I'll contact you to set up a specific time for next Friday or Saturday...."

Model (Response "C" - Immediate Reciprocation): "I love your approach! How original!! My name is [her name] ... what is yours?? (man says his name) You have me curious. I'm intrigued. I would have no problem hooking up with you next weekend...."

Trust me. The "Mode One" approach has been used by MANY MEN, and they've received productive results. Again, I'm not saying that Ian or Mystery's techniques are 'ineffective' ... I'm sure they work for some guys ... but I just think you're going through a lot of trouble to manipulate women when there is no guarantee of reciprocal results.

My thoughts....

Author, "Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"

1 comment:

Prestige said...

Glad to see you blogging. I recently bought your book (great job) and started a blog of my own to keep track of my own Mode One adventure. You can check it out at