Tuesday, May 19, 2009

If I'm the one being rejected, why is SHE the one angry and frustrated?

One of the Top 2, Top 3 questions I get asked by male readers of Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking is, "How can I approach a woman and let her know that my interests and desire is nothing beyond just casual sex without having her go into 'theatrical mode' and start accusing me of being crass, shallow, rude and/or disrespectful?"

In other words, [single] men want to know how they can be bold, upfront and straightforwardly honest with women about their desire for short-term, non-monogamous sex without making a woman feel 'cheap' or like a promiscuous whore.

My response? It is not your responsibility or obligation to concern yourself with how a woman THINKS you might be perceiving her. Your perceptions of her are your right, and her perceptions of herself are hers to deal with.

Secondly, you have to ask yourself ... if this woman has the power to REJECT you, and prevent you from dating her and/or engaging in casual sex with her, why would she be motivated to become 'angry,' 'frustrated' and/or 'bitter' towards you? Have you ever known an employer to interview you for a job ... and then become "angry" at you because you didn't have the right qualifications? Have you ever known a mortgage loan officer to be "bitter" at you because you didn't have an ideal credit score?

Very rarely, if ever, is the "rejector" more disappointed and/or frustrated than the "rejectee." So just why would a 'rejector' be angry, frustrated and/or bitter towards you when they are the ones who are in a position to DENY YOU something of desire or value?

Find out the detailed answer to this question / problem in Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You're REALLY Thinking available on Barnes & Noble.com and Amazon.com

Alan Roger Currie is the author of both Mode One and Upfront and Straightforward; Currie is also the Host of the popular Internet Talk Radio Show, Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie